Aug
21
2009

Run Out

Gone
in sixty nano-seconds
aim in mind before ball leaves bat
all done in one, out by yards,
victim dives after stumps splay
no recourse to redundant replay
dust stunned in shiv sharp speed
of broken glass stilled while braking
rods and cones alchemically fixed,
frozen forever in our retinas
suspended for life in vitreous humour
locked in basal memory forever
Katich twocks Trott.
Taken without owner’s consent,
No [...]

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Aug
19
2009

Mitchell Johnson

the crack is back.
out in the paddock steers sense
danger. A simple few step run
as short as Alan Davidson
but a bloody sight more quick,
left arm, right leg taut as a bow
held by Ursain Bolt at the gun,
no chance to reckon direction
before the whip comes over
Crack! Steers cower at its lash,
unable to go forward or back,
lost in the [...]

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Aug
18
2009

All Sq @ The Oval

Oval ain’t Headingley, all square, a fresh game, isn’t it?
England haven’t panicked and called up all their previous has-beens and failures,which is probably a good thing. Personally I was wondering if the selectors would plump for the no-nonsense solidity of Sir Arthur Wellesley or the more mecurial talents of Brunel I K, but still being [...]

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Aug
18
2009

Headingley Reflections – Field of Play

At the time it hurt. If you support England you don’t like to see any English batting collapse, and not two in percussive innings, interspersed with bowling pretty well as bad. With a week or more to think about it – it still hurts!
It wasn’t quite as bad as the fifth day collapse Tuesday 6th [...]

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Aug
18
2009

Headingley Reflections – Beyond Boundaries

I’ll talk about three areas here, all inter-related.
Watching the Western Stand, it struck me that the Hogarthian vision of The Times’ Thunderer is scarcely more than jolly japes in prep school dorms. Midnight feasts, ragging of other houses and schools, hiding Screwbottom Jnr’s spectacles, building a periscope from pop bottles to peer up Matron’s drawers [...]

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Aug
18
2009

The Oval Prayer

Our Freddie, the heart of our eleven
Hallowed be thy knees.
Give us your all from test to test
While inbetween giving them each a rest.
Cortisone injection those Australians
From openers to tail-enders
But do not do yourself a mischief
As you would do unto others.
We forgive you your pedalos
As you would forgive us ours.
All square at your final test
Lead us [...]

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Aug
10
2009

Headingley Carnegie

Headingley Carnegie
In the middle of a stand batsmen discard their creases
to parley twixt jousts, their yeomen chosen duties.
Shuffle pads, box, gloves, helmets, fear and bravery;
lean on pikestaffs to dismiss failure’s haunted taunting,
to discuss the matter at hand, state of play,
how to withhold each wicket whilst withering their enemies’
intent, who may snide cunning cussword cudgels in [...]

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Aug
09
2009

Headingley Day 3

I’m an optimist – as an England cricket fan you’ve no other option. Not just sun-block, but full whack of lunch-time sarnies packed. I stowed up on luck too, varying my route to include Bramall Lane and Hillsborough as well as Elland Road. Today Ipswich play the greatest team in the universe at the Ricoh [...]

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Aug
09
2009

Shonky Bludgers

The Bloke Up Your Arse
For it isn’t your sheila or mucker or strife
Whose judgment gets right up your arse.
The bastard whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one sledging you back to the past.
Don’t come the Plum Warner or W G
And make out you’re real dinki di,
The bloke up your clacker’ll drop you down [...]

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Aug
08
2009

Headingley Day 2

Thank you Yorkshire County Cricket Club for seat M446 in the Upper North East Stand, the best view in town, just over the bowler’s arm and hardly any of the field obscured. Headingley’s improved immensely since 1998, the last time I was here. The Western Terrace, late and unlamented, is replaced by the Western Stand, [...]

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