Ashes Poetry

Albion Underground regrets to announce significant delays to the arrival of the next wicket on the Victory Line.

This is due to engineering works not following on and proceeding as expected, although we are doing as much as we can to rectify the situation by deployment of a new ball.

However Albion Underground would like to make it clear to all fare-paying passengers waiting for the next wicket, that it does not take any responsibility for the work of its principal sub-contractors Clarke Haddin (Green Baggy PLC) who have not performed as expected. They have refused to roll over and die in the face of a mammoth task at well-nigh impossible odds, and instead played out of their skins to place Albion Underground in a situation where we may have to close down the Victory Line completely, or only accept passengers travelling from the Antipodes.

Albion Underground wishes to apologise unreservedly for any inconvenience or heartbreak this may cause. Rest assured Albion Underground are doing their utmost to resume normal services as soon as possible, and would like to express our wholehearted gratitude for your forebearance and patience, especially those who have been waiting up to seventy-five years for the next Ashes victory on the Lord’s branch-line platforms.

In the meantime may we respectfully request that any passengers travelling today on the Albion Underground not to leave their hopes unattended since they are liable to disappear without trace.

Australia 5-313;  M J Clarke 125* B J Haddin 80* England five more wickets, Australia 209 more runs to win.