Ashes Poetry

These reflections are about the game on the pitch, not so much fun and games off it.

For England to draw was far more than a fluke. It halted a run of five heavy defeats in a row. Add a sixth to the list, and losing would no longer have been a habit, but fast becoming an addiction.

If England win the series and the Ashes, Cardiff 2009 may resonate as Headingley 1981 when Bothamland with Willisshire came back from the dead to win. It was far more demoralising for the Aussies (and therefore far more encouraging for the Poms) to have drawn with one wicket to go, rather than peter out with the final half-hour not taken. This is what should have happened. If Monty and Jimmy can bat out over ten overs, shouldn’t the top order have played well enough never to put them into such a position….

Why’s the England top-order like an MFI wardrobe?
One hammer blow and the whole lot collapses.

A variation on the joke about the final days of the last conservative government, who were similarly compared – one loose screw and the entire cabinet falls apart.

The potential pyschological impact of the draw can be seen by the latest Barmy Army t-shirt celebrating the great escape with Jimmy and Monty on a motorbike http://www.barmyarmy.com/barmyshop/index.php?m=full&productID=130 even though other Jimmy and Billy weren’t there. They wouldn’t have made the t-shirt if the score had been 320 odd for six at stumps.

The Aussies blew it. They forgot the cardinal rule of winning tests: the ability to take twenty wickets. As soon as Monty came in, they reckoned it was over, much in the same way as England entered the final day at Adelaide 2006 already on the plane to Perth, draw in the bag. Instead of a few yorkers straight up, the quicks bowled nothing balls or bouncers, which played into Panesar’s hands. His two best shots are where he aims not to hit the ball – his elegantly OTT front foot leave where the bat does a perfect windmill, or his minimal sway-back to the bouncer. Monty’s never bowled without playing a shot (unlike KP Pietersen) nor hit (unlike Strauss, Bopara and Swann)

This is why Ponting made such a fuss about the changing of batting gloves at Buckingham Palace. He knew they should be one-up and was furious that they weren’t. Perhaps the most decisive captaincy Strauss showed was winning the toss and sending out the gloves. England didn’t seem to have a strategy. Australia has – bat longer than they do, the worst that can happen is a draw. England played two spinners but were reluctant to use them, set run-saving fields on the fourth day when they needed to take wickets, (Mike Brearley wrote well about this in The Observer) and, Collingwood, apart none of the batsmen showed evidence of grit. Cooke and Bopara each have problems playing round their legs (scions of Gooch, who separated out bat lift and feet movement to go through a patch of incessant lbws feet in a bucket) Strauss so much bottom-hand he needs luck to make a score, and Pietersen…. the most talented batsman in the side makes the least of his abilities, while Collingwood, perhaps the least talented makes the most: is this why they bat well together? On the bowling side Fred looked tired on the fourth day, not suprised to hear he’s carrying an bad knee and retiring at the end of the series. Being the side’s totem has become the task of Sisyphus. Broad lacks penetration and the spinners weren’t allowed to bowl too well due to overdefensive fields exploited by Australian batsmen.

The Australian top-order looks awesome. Hughes and Haddin great timers of the ball. Katich an improved player, while Clarke and North would walk into the England side. Ponting is perhaps the best Australian batsman since Bradman, better than Greg Chappell? The quicks look hard and menacing, with Johnson bowling the ball of the match to Collingwood at the start of his second knock: on or just off off-stump, moving away late to miss the edge by a fag-paper. If Collingwood had played back he’d have probably curtain-railed and have gone. Horitz got better – he’s young and if you don’t go after him, he’ll tie you down.

By and large, the wickets taken reflect beginning of term essay results. England 6 out of 20, pretty mediocre. Australia 19 out of 20, almost perfect.

For that reason, and for that reason alone, I reckon Australia will lose at Lords. They haven’t for seventy-four years, so it’s about time they did.

C’ mon England!