Ashes Poetry

Girls Write Poetry

“Girls write poetry,
that’s all they’re fit for,
that and shagging,
but probably those who write poetry
aren’t that tasty: slags, bints and whores
to be quite honest with you
I’d rather have a wank
(and to tell you the truth, I often do,
if I can get it up)

“Girls write poetry. Us men,
Us Welshmen, Us Welshmen
from the Valleys who follow the British Lions
through thick and thin, knowing how they could win
from the comfort of our tellies,
we know what we’re talking about

“For we are men, Welshmen,
from the Valleys and proud of it.
We can hand-off those girly-men who write poetry,
side-step the meaning of words when they don’t suit,
ruck and maul verbal inconvenience,
drift defence every awkward sentence,
kick into touch all our possession
to kill off listening stone cold dead

“Girls write poetry. Us men,
Us Welshmen, proud Welshmen from the Valleys,
when we have to get emotional,
we let the beer do the talking.
Girls write poetry.”

eight squadies died yesterday
in the foot-hills of Afghanistan
boys at the hands of other boys
playing big boy games
while girls write poetry