Defeat is all but inevitable. The crushing five-nil loss an ice-berg dwarfing the Titanic. But Professor Fiffle-Faffle has devised equipment to help England supporters in the one day games for the rest of the tour – The Rose-Tinted Raybans
Everything went well. No queues of Balfour’s chicken and veg pies, straight into my seat in the Doug Walters ash-tray to watch Hussey edge Anderson to Read. Gilchrist nabbed five in the first innings, and three to Read makes eight out of fifteen snaffles to the keeper. Are we on for a world record?
If the Australian pie industry, not to mention their cricket ground security and caterers off the pitch were to show the same dedication in the pursuit of quality as the Green Baggies do on, it would be far more of a pleasure even as a pom to watch them put us through the mincer.
Both teams were presented to the assembled throng in honour of McGrath, Warne and Langer, in order of height if not stature. The England team line up under the flag of St George, something possibly inconceivable a dozen years ago, and the rise of English nationalism as an artefact of Welsh and Scottish assemblies.
Everyone has blown hot and cold about the England’s bowling plans, not to say bowling going astray at the MCG last week.
Ian Botham blew hot, probably because he was angry about the England performance.
Angus Frasier blew cold, more important things in the world, probably because he was resigned to England’s performance.
Matthew Hoggard, the different player [...]
